"I do think that men often feel loved through sex. I think a lot of us do. But there's a particular dynamic where I think men give themselves permission sometimes to feel loved in that way, that it's not out in the world, it's more private, it's more intimate."
- Shana James
Shana James is a guide for men at the crossroads of self-awareness and intimacy who has helped thousands of men increase their impact, get promoted, find love, rekindle spark, create a legacy, and become more personally inspired and fulfilled.
In this episode, Shana joins us to unravel why so many men stumble when articulating their desires and how this can lead to a fear of their world unraveling.
Shana helps challenge the stereotype of the "new tough guy" and how we can redefine strength through vulnerability and self-trust. She also opens up her deep well of insights into the hidden struggles men face in traditional gender roles, feeling invalidated and objectified, and why entering midlife with conscious intentions is more crucial than ever.
Together, we'll dissect the layers of honesty in relationships, the seductive dance of vulnerability, and the art of navigating the chaos that can bring couples closer. Shana bravely shares a slice of her own vulnerability, illustrating that a relationship without its mess is like a sea without its depth.
Steering the conversation into the sacred, Shana and I will delve into the expansive definition of sex beyond the conventional, highlighting intimacy, pleasure, and connection as its true north. Get ready for a perspective shift as we talk about "four-dimensional sex" that incorporates the physical, emotional, soulful, and energetic tapestries that intertwine in truly connected experiences.
So lean in, open up, and join us as we explore how men can create new possibilities in their lives by clearing emotional baggage, embracing genuine intimacy, and weaving vulnerability into the fabric of strength. It's time to let go of false harmony, embrace the waves, be the rock, and rise with the tides of Expansive Intimacy.
On Reigniting Passion in Relationships:
"For couples who've been stuck in a rut, I often have them go back and ask ‘What do I want? What do you want? What would really excite us?’ Or sometimes it's easier to back into it by saying, I know I don't want this, or I know I don't want that. And then also to bring up what's been painful about this for us, what's been unsatisfying. It takes them courage to go there, to be that intimate, to reveal those things. And often the fear is, well, I'm going to break our relationship. But they might already be living inside of a broken or dead end relationship. So if we don't risk doing something different, then it often just stays as is."
On Redefining Success:
"I named my Facebook page ‘True Success for Men’ with the idea that true success actually includes our well being and includes a feeling of fulfillment and a feeling of being inspired in the world, as opposed to just numbers and titles and making it."
On The Complexity of Honesty in Relationships:
"If we really get honest about honesty, it's much more multilayered or multidimensional or complex and nuanced than many people think about it."
Connect with Shana:
Shana’s Book: https://shanajamescoaching.com/honest-sex/
Free Guide on Keys to Men’s Influence at Work & w/Women: https://shanajamescoaching.com/3ways
The Man Alive Podcast: https://shanajamescoaching.com/man-alive-podcast/
Question for Listeners:
Who is one person that you can think of right now who might find this episode helpful? Go ahead… send them a link. You might just strike up a new and meaningful conversation with them while you’re at it!
The views expressed are that of the individual and do not represent the opinions of any companies past, present or future.
Intro Music: Catch It by Coma- Media
Outro Music: Upbeat Funky Retro by QubeSounds
Editing & Production Services by JRS Young (yup...my son).