"If we are not actually sure how we operate when we are triggered or we are stressed, then we're going to struggle to really intimately connect with someone because we're going to be clearly seeing that other person and how they're behaving, but we're not seeing our dimension."
- Kimberly Hill
Today we are diving deep into the heart of modern relationships with our guest, Kimberly Hill, an expert on dating and relationship dynamics who coaches men who are frustrated with dating apps and tired of attracting the wrong types of women.
In today's world, there's a growing concern among men who find themselves overly dependent on romantic partners for emotional fulfillment. This dangerous trend highlights not just a lack of social networks, but also an adherence to outdated masculine attitudes that prevent men from seeking support from friends or groups. It turns out neediness isn't just a turn-off, it's often the result of deeply ingrained coping mechanisms and emotional habits that date back to childhood.
Today, we'll unpack the complex emotional landscape that men navigate as they seek intimacy and connections in a society that often stigmatizes vulnerability. Kimberly will share insights into the emotional challenges men face, especially after experiences like divorce, and she'll offer strategies for self-healing and personal growth outside of the relationship paradigm.
Kimberly’s open heart and keen intellect help her clients recognize their true emotions, using tools like the emotion wheel. She also encourages them to express and work through these feelings. We'll talk about the importance of genuine vulnerability and the common pitfalls that accompany misconceptions about intimacy.
Kimberly also sheds light on her multifaceted definition of intimacy and provides a glimpse into her work, including her podcast, "The Self Confidence Project," as well as her relationship coaching services. Listen in to challenge your perspectives and encourage growth in your intimate connections.
On Fatherless Homes Impacting Masculinity:
"So many men are being raised by their moms, and their moms are doing the best jobs they can, some of them, anyways. And that means they're raising men with feminine values as well, which is like, don't be confrontational, be quiet, be kind and compassionate, be nurturing. So all those are beautiful qualities, and men should have those too. But if that becomes the leading focus and values and qualities for men, then it's no wonder then when they get into relationships with women that they're bringing in that feminine energy or those feminine qualities, and they're conflict avoidant, or they're more like kind and compassionate and all those things are good things, but they also need to have the other dynamics without the sort of, and courageous and leadership and belief in themselves."
On Healthy Boundaries in Relationships:
“A woman is not going to lose respect for you because you're standing up for yourself, because you're establishing your boundaries. And if a woman is not respecting a man's boundaries, then, man, what are you doing with that woman?”
On Emotional Gold-Digging:
“If men, or women, are not developing their intimacy and friendships or social support networks and they're not healthy, then we end up expecting more from our romantic relationships, and we then put too much pressure on them, or we have expectations that can't be met, and then that causes problems in our relationship, right?”
Connect with Kimberly:
Question for Listeners:
Who is one person that you can think of right now who might find this episode helpful? Go ahead… send them a link. You might just strike up a new and meaningful conversation with them while you’re at it!
The views expressed are that of the individual and do not represent the opinions of any companies past, present or future.
Intro Music: Catch It by Coma- Media
Outro Music: Upbeat Funky Retro by QubeSounds
Editing & Production Services by JRS Young (my son).