Put your hands around grief almost as if it’s your best friend, because at times it will be.
Ken Mossman is a leader of the men's movement, a talented coach, the host of the “Mojo for the Modern Man” podcast, and the guide for his signature “IAM” (Integrated Adult Male) groups, which run throughout the year.
Grieving, he says, is different for every person and the experience is different for every person we grieve. But, ultimately, it is part of the experience of love. Like all emotions–despite the many myths that circulate about them–grief is a function, and provides us with important information.
As a group leader, Ken recognizes that whatever he expects his clients’ to do, he needs to first do himself. He discusses the importance of slowing down, of being mindful and present, particularly of your physical sensations and our breathing, which so many of us neglect to do. Awareness of self, situation, etc. must be built and practiced over and over again.
As a musician himself, Ken recognizes the role that music plays in accessing all of those emotions. Towards the end of the episode, he and Jim trade stories about their most memorable concert experiences, where bands like the Talking Heads and Widespread Panic made them feel everything from awe and wonder to joy and presence–often all at once.
“It's one thing to crack the door, but…As opposed to cracking the door and saying, ‘You go in first and report back.’ As a leader, go first.” (10:03 | Ken)
“There's nothing in the human operating system that's ‘set it and forget it.’ And if we're expecting our peers, our direct reports, anyone in a given organization to behave a certain way to show up a certain way…Are we a walking, talking example of what we want to see?” (11:59 | Ken)
“It's oftentimes the quieter, slightly slower parts of ourselves that represent the best of ourselves… So slow down.” (14:13 | Ken)
“Emotions are information; emotions are appropriate responses.” (20:43 | Ken)
“For me, music…is absolutely a portal into so many different kinds of experiences.” (29:02 | Ken)
“Intimacy has extraordinary healing powers. And that includes explicitly the deep self.” (38:22 | Ken)
Connect with Ken Mossman:
Connect with Jim Young
The Expansive Success Brotherhood: www.thecenteredcoach.com/expansive-success
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Intro Music: Catch It by Coma- Media
Outro Music: Upbeat Funky Retro by QubeSounds