“Being able to go deeper as a man and a husband, connected on that level is such great richness for those of us that get there and commit.”
Brian Anderson is the co-founder and board president of Fathering Together and he's got a passion for helping dads translate their professional skills into home life strategies, so they can connect with their kids, spouses and more.
As Jim and Brian dive into their shared experiences as men and dads, Brian shares a touching story in which his father comforted him after he had been bullied. They also go head on into one of the biggest taboos that men face--homophobic attitudes that remain a barrier to men’s ability to be intimate.
Male friendship is in crisis and the first thing to be sacrificed as men forge careers and families. Yet fathers can learn a lot about intimacy from raising those families and from the natural openness of children. Brian encourages his children’s emotions and co-creates their upbringing with them. And he and his wife sync their schedules based on each other’s needs rather than rigid traditional roles.
Eventually, Brian and Jim discover a ladder of sorts, one that men are still learning how to navigate to find their way from basic emotional literacy through to the "emotional courage" that help them shed the need for the old false bravado men often use.
Quotes:
“I always wanted to be a dad, to be married. More men do as well, we just don't talk about it.” (5:56 | Brian)
“Homophobia is a major blocker to intimacy for men, still to this day,” (11:55 | Jim)
“It's not a weakness to show intimacy or to say that you're afraid or to be anxious. It’s showing that you are strong and standing up to the idea of weakness by naming what you're afraid of.” (19:34 | Brian)
“If I'm working, I don't have time for friendship…this unnatural tension that we've developed there that we need to stop.” (27:46 | Brian)
“The best manual you will ever have for your child is the one that you co-create with them.” (32:34 | Brian)
“For dads, how do we learn to step away from the front of the line…and cook up a good meal for our kids when they're tired and exhausted.” (46:26 | Brian)
Show Links
Listen on: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Podbean | Google Podcasts | Amazon Music
Connect with Brian Anderson:
Fathers' Friday Resources: https://fathersfriday.org/
Learn more about Brian: www.theconnecteddad.life
Connect with Jim Young:
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The views expressed are that of the individual and do not represent the opinions of any companies past, present or future.
Intro Music: Catch It by Coma- Media
Outro Music: Upbeat Funky Retro by QubeSounds